we’ve seen our share of excitement here at DS Central. Our first sharp photo, our first decent blog post, our first million views … The future looked very bright.
But, today, something even bigger has materialized.
Our natural modesty made it hard for us to accept, but so many readers have repeatedly told us that we are the best, that we’ve finally come to accept it. So, OK, we’re the best.
But what was even more challenging for us was to fathom how many of you insist on paying to read our divine words and view our sublime photographs. Yes, Lula has erected a paywall, cheap and worth it. But the thought had never occurred to us and, frankly, we’re firm defenders of free access to exquisite culture and sublime photography.
But you guys insisted. Over and over again. We felt bad, but couldn’t refuse much longer what the market so loudly cried for.
So, from this day on, DearSusan is a paid-for website. But not just like any other. Since we’re so clever, we found a fantastic way of charging for views. One that requires no credit card, no login, or password.
You see, we’re not just brilliant photographers and brilliant bloggers, we’re also incredibly smart marketers. So we dug up Amazon APIs, had a developer create a hidden app for the website and you are now charged automatically for what you consume on this page and others. It’s all automatic, super clever and our partnership with Amazon ensures payment is transparent for you (you’ll receive monthly debits from Amazon).
Better still, the system analyses how much you have used the page to determine how much to charge. Up to this point: 38 cents.
Here: 43 cents.
Now, 53 cents. The photograph above costs twice as much as the previous one because it is twice as good.
We had to come up with crazy difficult algorithms to evaluate the quality of photographs. But now that they are operational, we can charge fairly and, as a side benefit, we will be giving a free copy to several museums to evaluate the quality of their stocks and charge visitors accordingly. That way, free museums will stop being free and visitors will be forced to enjoy the content more and learn better from it. It’s so exhilirating to transform the world so deeply.
This moving passage and the subsequent incredibly well-judged misfocus just earned you the privilege to reach 83 cents. Say no more, we know how warm that makes you feel inside. With talent that big, the sky is no longer the limit. I’m glad you can be a part of it, if only for 93 cents of it.
No need to compliment us on this exquisite article, but please share the best jokes you see or hear today in the media (in the comments). Some are just so imaginative, I’m giggling in advance. …
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